Age 3 to 6

My mom was married, and I spent less time with my grandma and Tia because he was watching me now. This is when the abuse started. He started hitting me and hitting me so bad I was bruised up and down my back to my legs. Since I did still see my grandma, she saw the bruises and called CPS. They showed up at my grandma's house, spoke to her and my Tia, and asked me questions. I don't remember them ever talking to my mom or him. I remember them telling my grandma to keep an eye out and to take pictures whenever she could.

Then I remember using the bathroom one day, and he came in. He told me he wanted to show me something, but it was a secret. That is when he started having me touch him. He would bathe me and touch me, and tell me not to tell anyone it was our secret. Not far after, he would tell me that he would kill my mom, my baby brother, and me if I told anyone. He told me no one would believe me if I did; he told me my mom would go to jail, I would go to jail, and nothing would happen to him because he knew the police.

By now, he was abusing me sexually and physically for a year or so. He would have me perform oral on him and add honey or whipped cream to his privates. He would beat me one minute and have me do things to him the next. He did things to me, too. He would tell me he wanted to give me a kiss but not on my lips or cheek. He would point to my private and say down there, and he would kiss me there. No one ever knew anything. I was too scared to say anything because of what he told me constantly. I was only 3 when it started. I didn't know better. Why would I?

Then I was now six years old. I have been being beaten and molested for three years now. One day, my older cousin was staying the night at my house. My mom was pregnant and working with her third child. My stepfather never worked the whole time they were married. Anyway, my cousin and I were playing in my room, and I had a captain's bed, so we took the drawers out and crawled under the bed. I told her I had to use the bathroom and ran out of the room. When I returned, she grabbed my hand and told me, let's watch TV. I went with her, and we watched TV until we fell asleep. I woke up and got ready for school, and my mom walked me to school.

When I came home, my Tia, cousin, her mom, and my mom were all sitting in the living room. They asked me to sit down and wanted to talk to me. I sat on the floor, and they started asking me questions about him and if he touched me. I started crying; NO! They told me it was okay to tell them the truth. As I sat there crying, my tia picked me up, took me to my room, and talked to me alone. I trusted her more than anyone, including my mom. So I started to tell her what he always told me. It was a secret, and that mom would go to jail, and he would kill all of us if I said anything.

She told me he was lying and that nothing would happen to us. I told her yes, he touches me and kisses me down there, and he has me do the same to him. She hugged me and told me I would have to tell my mom, and we walked back into the living room. As we returned to the living room, he walked in the front door, and my tia pounced like a cat on him. Punching him, hitting him, screaming at him. My mom had to get between them to stop her. My tia started shouting about what he did to me, and he said I was lying, it wasn't true. My cousin was eleven at the time, and the night before, when she spent the night, he tried to touch her. That is why she took me into the living room.

My mom called the police while my tia kept him there. When the police came, they arrested him. No one asked me anything. They just took him. When it was time to go to court, they asked my mom if I could testify, and she said no, I was too young. So it was his word against my moms', and he was found guilty. As he walked out of the courtroom in handcuffs, I didn't understand, and I was yelling for my papi. He just looked at me as they walked him away. I was six, and I didn't know better.

As I got older, I learned that instead of jail time, they gave him ten weekends in jail. This means he was out all week, went in on Friday evening, and was released on Sunday nights. The police recommended that I go to therapy, which I did at a catholic church. Where they taught me good touch bad touch, how to tell someone if it happens, who to tell, and talking to a therapist about what happened to me. My mom would take me and drop me off and my Tia would pick me up.